Queen of Reasonable
by Heath07
Summary: RyanAnna -Anna had always been reasonable...until Ryan came along.


Title: Queen of Reasonable

Author: Heath07

Rating: PG-13 -cursing, sexuality

Summary: Ryan/Anna -Anna had always been reasonable...until Ryan came along.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything...

Feedback: Yes, please. Reviews are great and much appreciated.

Notes: I blame this on too much Discovery Channel and bike week...um, yeah, that's all I have to really say.

* * *

Anna Stern had always been reasonable. So, in reality, she always knew Seth would choose Summer, it was just a matter of time. She didn't think that it would be a week after they officially broke the news to everyone that they were going out, but in life you can't plan for anything. She wasn't bitter. She wasn't really even that sad about the whole thing. Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that she was just biding her time because she knew it was going to happen all along. She was intuitive about these things or maybe just plain naïve to Seth's real feelings and tricked herself into believing they could be something more than just friends. 

Anna wiped her hands on a dirty rag, feeling Ryan's eyes on her. His eyes were always on her and maybe that made breaking up with Seth all the more tolerable. Hell, who was she kidding?It made it perfect.Because her guilt over fantasizing about Ryan was beginning to eat a hole through her stomach lining. Anna did not need to get an ulcer just because she couldn't keep her thoughts about Ryan on a strictly G or even PG level. The rating board was going to have to come up with another rating stronger than NC-17 for all the twisted and plain indecent thoughts she'd been having about Ryan.

But it was absolutely, inexcusably, down right rude of him to be watching her in her place of refuge...well, it was technically her parent's that owned her place of refuge, but it was her chopper she was working on and her tools and her time, and therefore made the garage her space. Ryan had no business invading it. None whatsoever. Except that he was, and he didn't seem to be deterred as she slammed tools against her workbench and purposefully ignored him.

She kept her back to him, not needing to see him to know he was giving her one of his trademark Looks. Those damn smoldering eyes and that smug mouth had no effect on her. He was probably looking all good and brooding, leaning against the frame of her garage and maybe he even had a cigarette in his hand and would every once in a while take a lazy puff and breath it out through his nose, looking all tough and menacing -- she didn't smell smoke, though, so she doubted it. He was probably wearing one of those wife-beaters that fit him just right, too. She wasn't going to turn around to find out. No Sir-ee. She had more willpower than that.

"What, did Seth send you to make sure I was okay?" she asked, an unattractive snort lacing her sarcastic tone.

"No." His words came out smooth and Anna bit her lip.

"Oh." It hurt. Then again, she knew what she was getting herself into when she started this game of Red Rover. She still, stubbornly, refused to turn around. He could stay there all damn day with his Rebel Without a Cause leather and James Dean scowl and she wouldn't turn around.

She could hear him shift a little and she wanted to turn to look, but didn't. "Are you? Okay, I mean?"

She felt herself cracking, but her glue was thicker than tears and she wasn't ever going to cry over a boy. Especially not Seth Cohen and especially after she'd seen it coming all along. "Fine. Never better."

"Anna."

"I guess I should have seen it coming. I mean, Summer's...well, Summer and I'm...you know."

"No, I don't."

God, she believed him. She believed he didn't see how much sexier and softer Summer was compared to her. And she knew he looked past Summer's big boobs and saw into her heart and knew it was all steel, an impenetrable mass, that probably only Seth wanted the key to. Because Ryan didn't. He didn't care that Summer was gorgeous and auspicious and probably really good in bed. He didn't care because the last thing he needed was another person to fuck him around. He had Marissa for that.

Oh God, Marissa. She'd forgotten all about her. Which was probably a bad thing, considering her boyfriend was ten feet away, leaning against her garage and ready to pick up the pieces to her life. Ryan was like that. Ready to pick up the pieces to everyone's life but his own. Partly because Ryan didn't allow his own armour to chip, so he never had pieces to fit back together, and partly because he was so used to being the parent that he couldn't remember what it was like to be a kid anymore. With Marissa though, he might as well tattoo 'peacemaker' or something equally permanent and daunting to his chest, because that's all he was ever going to be for her. She wasn't ready to be in a grown-up relationship yet and she certainly wasn't ready to let Ryan be seventeen.

They both knew Anna was just shy of being as innocent as Seth. Not that she hadn't ever had sex.... Because she had. She just hadn't had the kind of sex Ryan was capable of. That hot, sweaty, fevered, fuck-up-against-a-wall or across a pool table or in the backseat of a car in the middle of a thunder storm; that wild, envious crash of bodies and words and feelings and tongue and teeth and all naked parts of the body that can't be experimented with at a party, in the host's bedroom, while other people wait outside for their turn. She'd never had _that_.And if she looked at Ryan she knew she'd want it. She wanted to say as much, but she bit her tongue and gave the customary platitude.

"Ryan, come on, you know what I mean." Anna grabbed a socket wrench and wiped off the handle where she'd spilled some oil in her previous display of bravado.

"I never figured you for a grease monkey."

That caught her attention and she spun around to blast him, but he was smirking and she knew he was on to her. And he was leaning, leather jacket and white wife-beater clinging to his skin with sweat, just like she'd pictured so many times. His eyes were the brightest blue she'd ever seen them and they were shining with a smile. Whatever she was going to say was lost. She forgot everything. The reason she was in the garage, moping, in the first place. Her name. Everything.

All she could picture was a rain-soaked Ryan, naked and beaconing for her to join him.

Ryan was still half-smiling, but there was something darker in his eyes and she realized she was staring. She cleared her throat, smiled innocently--or at least as innocently as she could muster, considering the thoughts plaguing her. "You gunna stand here all day or are you going help me?"

He stepped further into the garage, his heels scraping lazily on the concrete as he walked like he belonged there. "So, you fix bikes in your spare time? That's so-"

"Not Newport?" she supplied, grinning.

"Yeah."

She was going to remain calm. She was going to act like a normal person who had gorgeous guys walking into her garage, picking up tools, every day of the week. She was not going to act like some sheltered Pittsburgh geek whose experience was limited to one drummer in a badly constructed alternative band, a few comic-books geeks that had even less experience than her--not surprising--and curly-haired ramblers that didn't want anything to do with her once they spotted someone more brunette. "I don't just fix them, I fabricate and restore too. It's slow going, I don't have most of the tools I need and I'm not as strong as J.D."

"J.D.?"

She smiled faintly. "Joel Damon Stern, my older brother. He stayed in Pittsburgh when we moved.He still has a year left in University."

"Huh." Ryan nodded, never the big talker.

Her eyes scanned the room landing on engine parts, tools, half-constructed motorcycles and one fully complete, and functional, midnight blue chopper. "He's the one that got me into all this."

"You miss him?"

Anna stopped. "Yeah. Yeah, I guess I do. What about you? Seth said you had an older brother." She looked back at him and noticed his eyes had changed again. They were the misty gray that always made him look so tough, mysterious. She had mistaken that look for anger before, but now she knew it wasn't. "Oh, shouldn't I have...?"

They both knew what she was really asking. Asking if he missed his older brother was like asking if he missed the way his Mother's countless boyfriends used to smack him around until he couldn't stand. She was really asking about Chino; and not even Chino the place, but the experience of it, about the simplicity of it, where they didn't have to hide behind designer clothes and subtext that was an inch thick and a mile long. Of course he missed it. Of course he yearned for nights hanging around, outside, on the hoods of cars, talking shit and not worrying who was watching and what they were going to be whispering about in the morning. Hell, she missed it too.

He caught her eye. "Nah, it's cool. Trey... He's in prison. It's...he's..." he struggled to find the words, which made Anna wonder how long it had been since someone asked him about his life, about what he wanted and needed. "Yeah, in a way." He settled for the straight answer and she felt disappointment flood her.

"Oh."

He was just so used to being out of focus that he didn't know how to say all the things he really wanted. It was sad and her chest ached for him.

She grabbed a wrench and noticed from the corner of her eye he was taking off his jacket.

There wasn't much talking after that. She couldn't think of anything to say that wasn't 'I want you' or 'you look so fucking hot in that tight undershirt... my parents won't be home for two hours, want to go up to my room and show me exactly how you make a girl come seven different ways?'. Yeah, somehow she didn't think that was a safe thing to say. Mostly because she wasn't sure whether she was more scared he would say no or yes.

They worked in silence, because Ryan liked silence and Anna liked to listen to all the small noises he made as he pulled apart the exhaust and rewired the brake lines. Small noises like the sharp intake of breath when he miscalculated and caught his finger in the chain causing it to plump and bleed -- he didn't complain, not really, just cursed and wiped it with a rag and was back to business before she could even ask if he was okay -- or the tiny grunts he made as he stripped a screw from too much pressure, and then the click of his tongue when he couldn't find the right tool to get it off. All the sounds he made were beautiful. Calming. Arousing. Anna liked it. She felt more relaxed than she had any of the days she'd been in Newport so far.

For her own part, she worked slower. While Ryan was methodical, she worked haphazardly, mostly because she was distracted every time she looked up from the chrome fender she was trying to weld. A person just couldn't do much with Ryan in the same room. It was impossible. Now she understood why service at the Crab Shack was always so slow when he worked, people were stunted by his presence.

When he saw she was having trouble with a bolt, he came right behind her, pressing his hips into hers, took the wrench out of her hands and did it himself with a grunt that sent tingles down her spine. It sounded like a sex noise, which had her mind spiralling off into the abyss thinking what other noises Ryan would make in the sack. And when she almost tripped over a set of tires, it was Ryan's hand on her waist that steadied her and his warm, calloused fingers that touched the length on her stomach and didn't let go right away.

And it felt suddenly a little West Side Story, only without the gay dancing and show tunes and gangs...okay, so it was nothing like West Side Story, but Ryan definitely was breaking some sort of guy code for being there with her. Not that they were actually doing anything remotely sexual or non-friendship-like. She felt guilty nonetheless,like they were doing something forbidden and they weren't doing anything wrong at all. She knew there should be a yet added on to the end. They weren't doing anything wrong _yet_.

Anna took a step back, needing air. A thousand thoughts raced through her head, none of them friendship-like. She definitely wasn't thinking about the giant biceps Ryan was sporting or how easily he could lift her onto the seat of the bike and just ride...her, no not her, the bike. Ride the bike. Not her. Definitely no riding of her was going to be happening.

"An-na?"

The look on his face was penetrating and she wondered how long he'd been calling her name.

"Hmm?"

"Want me to go?"

She blinked, looked at him and then blinked again. She had to still be in bed, asleep and dreaming this all up, because there was an edge to his voice like he knew exactly what she did want. He was slowly edging toward her and she would have backed up if the motorcycle wasn't propped up there. She certainly didn't want to destroy something she'd put money and lots of time into just because she couldn't stand being so close to Ryan without wanting to touch him...and do way more than just touching him.

Hell no, she didn't want him to leave, but it would be much safer than the alternative. Safer for her heart, for sure. She didn't need to be falling for another unattainable boy. Man. Whatever.

She averted her eyes, looking at the floor because it was so much easier than having to face him. "No. No, it's okay. I appreciate the help. You seem to know what you're doing."

Ryan was still moving closer. The momentum was akin to a snail's pace, but he was getting closer nonetheless. He probably thought he would scare her if he moved quicker. She wasn't sure he was entirely wrong.

"I used to fix cars with my Dad," he said casually, but it was anything but casual. Because Ryan didn't say anything without thinking it through first.

And she could picture him back in Chino with grease under his nails and a dirty cap turned backwards, his chest bare and glistening with sweat under the sun.

Of course that was wrong.Because Seth told her Ryan's dad was in jail and that would make him just a kid the last time he saw his father. And she definitely didn't want to be having fantasies of a ten-year-old Ryan like that. That was just creepy.

She couldn't help it, though. There was just something so fucking sexy about Ryan touching her tools and tightening a bloody screw. If it were Seth, he'd be tittering around, joking about the grease on her cheek or something equally contrived. Then again, Seth wouldn't be caught dead in her garage on a Saturday afternoon when he could be playing video games or skateboarding. She was sure Seth didn't know his ass around an engine --or even a socket wrench, for that matter.

She looked up and he was right _there_. So very close. Standing in front of her, his shoulders slumped and his hair hanging in his eyes. He looked very much like the little boy he'd been at one time, the one she imagined working under the hood of an old Camaro with his Dad before his life went for shit. Only, all the weight of other people's problems were still on his shoulders and there was no childlike innocence in his eyes, just lust and heat.But he looked young. Younger than she'd ever seen him look before. Like an afternoon of playing mechanic had somehow lightened his spirits and she smiled despite everything. Despite knowing that nothing could ever erase the burdens in Ryan's soul, she could pretend that, at least for a moment, she could give him some peace.

"Mind if I come by again tomorrow? It felt kinda good to get my hands dirty again." And no one could ever say that sounding as sexy as Ryan just had, all rough and dangerous like getting his hands dirty was a preempt to some ritualistic sex act. Something with grease and leather and moaning. Definitely moaning.

He didn't look the least bit vulnerable anymore and his youth was washed away easily with the same subtle sexiness as the way he licked the sweat from his upper lip. Just like that. She held her breath

"Whatever you want." Anna knew her voice shook slightly and his eyes zeroed in on her mouth as it trembled.She refused to acknowledge it. The same way she refused the burn in her stomach and thighs every time he looked at her like he could see into her.

Anna wanted him to kiss her and she didn't even care if he knew it. She'd be a fool to think that he couldn't tell. And she knew it was better for them both if he didn't kiss her. Because if she was waiting for love with Ryan, she'd be waiting a very long time. Not that Ryan wasn't capable of love. It was just that Ryan really wasn't comfortable with it. Love to him was some foreign concept or an agreement that meant it was all right to hurt him. And, besides that,he and Marissa were already a unit, a complete entity that couldn't be broken no matter how much anyone wanted to -- even if he wanted to. She didn't want to love Ryan like that. Ryan didn't deserve to be hurt anymore. And neither did she.

So kissing Ryan would definitely be the wrong thing to do. But when he leaned forward and separated her lips with his tongue she remembered how good wrong felt. Then she was clutching at his shirt and pulling it over his head and not caring where it landed or that he was walking them backward onto the hood of her father's new Lexus. Her butt hit metal and she let her legs fall apart, cradling his thighs between hers. His hands were everywhere and rough over her skin. And it was so fucking right and improper at the same time she couldn't stand it.

His fingers buried themselves in her short hair, angling her face to meet his and delve deeper into her mouth. His hair brushed her face and it was surprisingly soft over her skin. She'd have to store that away so that later she could remember how nice it was. Everything else about Ryan was hard and rough and hot.

The back of his shoulder blades were slick with sweat and her fingers slid down, over, touching skin that stretched his ribs and corded muscle, hitting a small indent and a scar or two along the way and then down to his still covered ass. She pulled him against her. Right against her, so she could feel his erection pressing into her.

She felt him fumbling with the buttons of her shirt, until it was finally open and the heat of his bare chest was against her and so fucking hot it felt like torture. She couldn't catch her breath.

She inhaled and nearly choked on the smell of gasoline and oil and Ryan. It reminded her of where they were and what they were about to do and if she were being reasonable, she would have pushed him away and taken his hand, leading him to her room or her shower or the dining room table, or anywhere other than the garage and the smell of fast machines and accelerated lungs.It might have made them slow down, though,. It might have made them reasonable.And she couldn't risk that.Because she wanted it... Wanted it even more than she knew.So they were fine where they were. Yeah, they were fine here with the smell of gasoline and sweat and sex and all.

She opened her eyes because she wanted to see what he looked like kissing her, but his eyes were open too and staring into hers as if he'd read her thoughts. She pulled her eyes away from his, too afraid of what she saw there to keep looking. They shifted to the ceiling and to the water craft, from one of her brother's white water rafting trips to New Zealand, securely tied to one of the crossbeams. It reminded her too much of the ridiculousness of being groped on top of a car in a garage.It reminded her that it was cheap and didn't mean anything. So she closed her eyes again and sucked in a breath as Ryan's tongue moved from her mouth to her jaw and then down her neck.

He licked a path to the vee of her breasts, leaving a wet trail that quickly dried in the afternoon heat. Teeth grazed her nipple and she bucked, arching her body into his. She wasso close.In Pittsburgh, Anna had a friendthat claimed she could come just by having her nipple sucked the right way.She had never believed that, it seemed impossible... She believed it now.

Ryan's skin was so hot, so fucking hot, and his mouth... she could feel the heat pouring off of him and it reminded her of being in a sauna surrounded by steam, only the air around them wasn't fresh and she could hear the whiz of traffic over the hill.It was impossible to block out the sound of his heavy breathing and the obscene noises his tongue was making as he lapped at her skin and scraped his teeth against the satin of her bra, pushing it down with just his mouth. Out of the way. The air felt cool now compared to his hothothot mouth and she shivered as he moved away.She knew he was watching her again.

Moving her hands from his ass, she let them trail his chest, mesh with the hair on his abdomen and then lower. It was when she was pulling at his pants that the phone chirped in his pocket. Unembarrassed, she snaked her hand into the tight space between his denim pocket, where hot flesh pressed against the back side of her fingers and pulled out the phone, holding it to his ear.

She knew she looked ravaged and a little bit comical with one breast exposed and the other still encased in pink satin, but she didn't care because she saw in Ryan's eyes that he wanted her. Really wanted her. _Her._

And when he spoke into the phone, his voice was low and his eyes stayed on her, looking her up and down as he licked his lips with a soft pink tongue and it made her shift her legs and squirm.

And she knew it was Marissa by the way his eyes flickered over her with guilt after a minute and she didn't really care because she wanted to get back to what they were doing and probably would have continued even if her parents had pulled up and screamed at her that they were denting the car. That'show _crazy_ he made her.

When he hung up and took a step back, Anna avoided his eyes, knowing she'd say something she regretted if she didn't. Something like: 'finish what you started, now!' or 'just take me here, right here, and I don't care if it's fast and clumsy and awkward, I just need you' or worst of all, she might have just said, 'don't go.' But she straightened out her bra and pulled her shirt together and sat tall. "Maybe you shouldn't come by tomorrow."

Ryan looked at her for a long minute, probably weighing the pros and cons --not literally, though. Because she was probably the only person that really did that. She was positive he was going to apologize and hightail it out of there before her skin had a chance to cool from his mouth.

"I think I will anyway." His voice was scratchy like he'd just smoked a whole pack of Marlboro's and forgotten to exhale. He smirked that knowing little smile he'd had when he first walked in. She liked the way it made the hair at the back of her neck stand up.

The happiness that flooded through her veins was not a good sign. The leap in her stomach and the heat spreading through her pelvis were also not good indicators that this would, in any way, shape, or form, work out. She should have said no, she should have said 'don't come back, because next time I won't be able to stop,' but she didn't. She just hopped off the car and righted her clothing and gave him a little smile.

She watched him walk away, grabbing his undershirt and jacket on the way. She looked around the, now empty, garage, fully panicked. The last thing she needed was to fall for another unattainable boy, but she could still feel his lips on her skin and the pressure of his fingers on her back. The last thing she needed was another disappointment, but she could still taste his tongue in her mouth and her legs were still shaky and she felt a little dizzy. The last thing she needed was to fall in love... but she was already half way there.

If Anna Stern really was reasonable she would have known she'd just opened a floodgate of trouble.

* * *

end. 


End file.
